A week in review

This week I can feel the grief closing in. I have slept in three days this week. I probably wouldn't have if I had a job where a strict 9-5 or something was enforced, but I generally like to be predictable and dependable. I saw Wicked at the Pantages last Friday night, had lunch out with coworkers Monday,I went scuba diving with my sister-in-law Wed. evening and took the girls to Disneyland after work last night. It's not like I'm living a blank and meaningless life these days. But, every time I am left with nothing else to feel or think, I feel this pain creeping in closer. I described it like a constricting snake in a previous blog, tightening with every breath I exhale. But a snake as a definite form. This is more like a cloud or sand. It is just all around you and you don't know where it begins or when it will end. I don't dream when I sleep, hardly ever do. I just want to get to the point where I feel like I'm healing.


Anonymous (visit their site)

It took me a long time to be still, not by choice, but because I have two children that I had to keep on for. It has been 16 months since our loss, and it is only now I am able to finally be still. I still have that feeling creep in.

You are not alone.