lonely journey

I was pondering on how this life is a journey and thinking about this hardest part of my trail so far. I know exactly who I would want to take with me, to help me make it through, Traci. But of course therein lies the paradox. If I had her to walk this road with me, I would not need to walk it. We would continue down the old familiar paths and trails. I don't know if I am searching for a story or a metaphor right now but I do know that this is striking me as kinda odd with a twist of mind bending. Why is it that the tool you need most is the tool you haven't seen in a while and can't seem to locate. I may come back and edit this post later. I'm not sure I'm finished with it, but I'll post it anyways.