As I thought about writing this on the way home from San Diego, the only feelings I had about the one and a half hour drive from or to SD were bad. I really miss Traci during this time. I feel all of the bad grief emotions during these drives. Today I especially seemed to revolve around depressed and self pity but in general I feel a lot of anger or sadness or confusion or.... you get the picture. I try to drown out my own thoughts with either talk radio or music. I need to face reality about talk radio and I. I don't give a flying fairy about politics right now. I don't care what amendments are or aren't passing. I don't care where the illegal aliens are going next or who's money they are spending. I guess that may be why I my thoughts easily wander during the drive. I am too busy wishing they would just shut up to be entertained.
However, as I am finishing up my day and feeling a little bit more reflective, what is actually bad about having an uninterrupted 1.5 hours to explore my feelings? I am going to try and make a more productive use of this pain. Sure it will continue to suck, but maybe this will help me reach more clarity and peace sooner than I would otherwise. Oh, and the cellphone law was a bad idea. until I get a headset, I will be txtng while driving, which is far more dangerous I am sure.

2 Responses to "Driving"

marsden4 (visit their site)

Being alone with your thoughts might feel terrible, but you have to grieve in order to heal.You might hear that often, but it is true. I wish you best!

Karen Ahlstrom (visit their site)

Have you tried books on CD? Most libraries have them, and you can check them out for free. I find that they're a lot more entertaining than talk radio, and better at keepong my mind occupied than music. I also feel like I've spent a productive hour or two rather than just killing time.

Being alone with your thoughts is good once in a while, but you want to be safe while driving too.